Kristus Aman Youth Ministry.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Stuck in a Moment

Blog Entry


Stuck in a moment. Have you ever felt that way? Most know me as an idealist, impassioned, optimistic, energetic, lively and loud. And they are right, because that's what I am... most of the time. But I have these moments when apathy gets a hold of me, and I just want to... exist. Just exist. Breathe in and out, in and out, and do nothing better than that. Well, I think "want" is the wrong word. Nobody really wants to be apathetic. At the moment of apathy, nothing is all you feel, whether you desire it or not; and the trouble is, you're perfectly fine with nothing.

Other times, I feel stuck in sin, even after asking for and supposedly receiving God's forgiveness. Even after the effort to change. The words of a wise priest I know then resound in my mind: "Sometimes we have more faith in sin than in God's mercy." What a true and convicting thought. So often, we get stuck in a rut because we have more belief in the power of sin to weigh us down than in the power of kindness and mercy to change us. We have more belief in our tendency to fail than in the grace that empowers us to change.

If what we have faith in is evident in our action, may the Lord have mercy on us for having so much faith in sin. May He forgive us for having so much faith in the status quo, a profession we have made in our apathy, in our resignation to the way things are and refusal to get up and actually do something -- for ourselves, for God, for our neighbor, for the world.

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