Kristus Aman Youth Ministry.

A Life of Writing Footnotes

2007-11-05T15:29:00.001+08:00

We love to take credit for the good things we do. For the cool songs we write that move people. For the moments, the skies and portraits we capture on film. For the brushstrokes, and the words, for the thoughts that spill onto paper...and computer screen. We love to be recognized for our technical prowess and business acumen. But at the end of the day, who can really claim credit for anything good?

The songs I've written that truly matter, the ones that resounded in peoples' souls -- it's like I pulled them from the air at the precise moment when my whole being was disposed to catch them. And the truths that they express existed long before I was born. The skies, the moments, the people my talented friends capture in photographs -- they all have a Creator. And long before they snapped the shot, their subjects already were, at the very least, a thought in God's mind, already in motion. The images we paint, the pieces we write, the work we do -- all our attempts at creativity, though beautiful, can only be so because they reflect things that already existed before we even noticed. And the sciences, the numbers and theories that we feel we have a hold on because of education are an attempt to map out the territory that's been there for ages.

My line of thought is this: that truth, beauty, goodness -- they already have an Author, and we're basically just making footnotes, in all our attempts at creativity and progress.

What good do I really do? What good do I actually create? I don't create anything. I echo, reflect and decipher. Mankind at its best is merely writing footnotes.

I think Jesus knew what He was talking about when He said that God is good. It's a huge statement; not just some sing-song alliteration. All our attempts at good -- they are simply us saying, "hey I noticed something that God did -- see?"

God alone is good. Not my songs. Not her dances or his cleverness. Not my friends' photos or works of art. Not our genius in industry, economics or whatever. The more we humbly understand that only God is truly good, the clearer the reflection of good, the more crisp the sound of the echo of God's glory. God alone being the true good also gives me hope. Because I'm very capable of doing the not-so-good, and even the downright bad. But when I realize that it is only God who can pour goodness into my life, He eclipses the pressure to be great. I become more content to be who I am and let God be great. And it is He who will do great things in the world.

The cool thing is that He uses us. To reflect and echo, to present our friends with a fresh new take, an inventive angle, a different color from what they've seen. God uses us the more we recognize that He's good. So keep the reflection pure. Keep the echoes clear. Keep writing accurate footnotes to the Author of everything good.

Stuck in a Moment

2007-11-05T15:28:00.002+08:00

Stuck in a moment. Have you ever felt that way? Most know me as an idealist, impassioned, optimistic, energetic, lively and loud. And they are right, because that's what I am... most of the time. But I have these moments when apathy gets a hold of me, and I just want to... exist. Just exist. Breathe in and out, in and out, and do nothing better than that. Well, I think "want" is the wrong word. Nobody really wants to be apathetic. At the moment of apathy, nothing is all you feel, whether you desire it or not; and the trouble is, you're perfectly fine with nothing.

Other times, I feel stuck in sin, even after asking for and supposedly receiving God's forgiveness. Even after the effort to change. The words of a wise priest I know then resound in my mind: "Sometimes we have more faith in sin than in God's mercy." What a true and convicting thought. So often, we get stuck in a rut because we have more belief in the power of sin to weigh us down than in the power of kindness and mercy to change us. We have more belief in our tendency to fail than in the grace that empowers us to change.

If what we have faith in is evident in our action, may the Lord have mercy on us for having so much faith in sin. May He forgive us for having so much faith in the status quo, a profession we have made in our apathy, in our resignation to the way things are and refusal to get up and actually do something -- for ourselves, for God, for our neighbor, for the world.

We Are The Comeback and the Restoration

2007-11-05T15:28:00.001+08:00

I was reading about World Food Day. It turns out, the world produces enough food for all its inhabitants. Yes, even in this supposedly over-populated, degenerated, globally warmed state that we're in, there is still enough food for everyone. Makes me marvel at the Creator's wisdom -- what an impressive piece of work this planet is! But in spite of this abundance, over 850 million people around the planet go to bed hungry every night. That's ten times the Philippines. The more fortunate of these people are reached by feeding and nutrition programs that offer the bare essentials. But for many, even that is a luxury.

This made me think. God made a world of abundance that pretty much throws the economic premise of scarcity out the window. The world does have enough, and in fact, already produces enough. It's not scarce. It's the avaricious attitude that mankind is disposed to have toward the world's abundance that's the problem. Man is disposed to bite off more than he can chew.

But onto brighter things. In spite of this reality, I've been thinking about the power of hope. Jesus was all about hope. What can I say -- I'm a fan. These are some of my hopeful and idealistic musings. They're a little neo-classical-cheesy-sarcastic-rapper, so I warn you. Enough with the disclaimers. I hope you enjoy.

Hope and Struggle

Hope and Struggle
Make a lovely couple
You can't have one
Without the other
They sometimes fight
But in spite
Of their differences
You know
They'll always be together

A toast to Hope and Struggle!
A strange but lovely couple!

We Are The Comeback and the Restoration

We are the comeback
And the restoration

The return of the downtrodden and lame
Of the beneficiaries of misfortune
And shareholders in calamity
With the high-fisted audacity
To make such a claim

We are the comeback
And the restoration

Bold enough to be the transformed
Criminals, redeemed and reformed
The garment was torn
But remade, we're reborn
Like an innocent child
Now breathing, alive
Gazing into the light
For the very first time

We are the comeback
And the restoration

The sanctifying grain and flavor
In a world that's lost taste
And polluted by waste
As one we endeavor
And believe it can change

Because we are the comeback
And the restoration

The small hidden seed
Breaking ground trodden down
By lies and deceit
Mankind's conceit --
The overworked feet
Treading filth that has steeped
It in reservoirs of withdrawing
One's heart from the Maker

We are the comeback
And the restoration

When evil began dreaming
Its candied fantasies
Mouth watering with an appetite for mankind's disease
It shuddered in fear
For its twilight was near
In the scent of Redeemer
Its end was proved true
For in Redeemer
Its nightmare
Was realized
In you

In Redeemer
Its nightmare
Was realized
In you...

In Redeemer
Its nightmare
Was realized
In you...

You who believe
In an invisible Force
The reforging of good
Beauty
And truth
A sword indestructible
Cutting straight through
Flesh and bone
Soul and spirit
Light, and darkness removed

We are the comeback
And the restoration

Oh, let us come and be changed!
Come, let us make idealistic claims!
And oh, if all of us could be so brave!
To cease the attempt of our lives to save
But believe that in dying
The freedom to choose
The eternal comes alive
Hailing evil's swift doom

We are the comeback
And the restoration

Our Caste System

2007-09-19T21:42:00.001+08:00

I was reading about the Dalit (pronounced doll-leet) recently. For thousands of years in India, among the different castes, the Dalit have been the lowest, formerly known as untouchable. Today, although the Indian constitution guarantees fundamental rights for all Indians, the Dalit continue to be oppressed -- the effect of a culture that has existed for literally ages. The Dalit are not considered to be part of human society, and supposedly pollute people of higher castes with their presence. As a result of discrimination, many Dalit are deprived of the most basic of human rights, and their dignity remains unrecognized by many. Currently, there exists in India a struggle for equality.

Reading and thinking about the Dalit, I was led to wonder...

What castes have we put up? What caste divisions do we agree with, whether explicitly, or as implied by our lifestyle and mentality?

In the Philippines, I hear a lot about socio-economic division, denoted by the letters A, B, C, D & E. I try not to figure out where I fit in because it shouldn't be all that important, right? But the truth is, sometimes I do give it importance. I've noticed that because I dress a certain way and speak decent English with a particular accent, people assume that I'm from a richer class. This isn't something I necessarily like. It works to my advantage in some situations, getting me past tight security guards or out of situations when people are trying to con me. People at malls and hotels respect me for the most part, and I feel confidence when I stand in front of important people. I can converse with people and not feel shy about my occupation. Some people might even like me more. But on the converse, the appearance of affluence can be to my disadvantage. I've been to places where I was judged because of how I dress and speak, even when I possessed the purest of intentions.

The point is, we do have castes. And what is dangerous is that they aren't institutionalized. They are invisible. They are cultural. We may not be as extreme or discriminating as others might be. But in many ways, we have erected barriers and limitations to the extent of our love and respect. There are certain jobs and paychecks that supposedly carry more dignity. Certain schools are "more acceptable" than others (this is not to say that standards of excellence should go out the window; but respect can never be thrown out). In our minds, some neighborhoods aren't just nicer, they are better. And lets not get into the cliche of talking cars, clothes and cellphones. And if it's not a material issue, the issue is cultural: the East Coast vs West Coast rap wars. Rich vs Poor. Young vs Old. Cheap vs Classy. Manila vs Cebu (!).

And here's another thought: I don't know if it's just me, but sometimes we're more discriminating towards people who are not "far" from us. We're annoyed most with people who are almost like us, but aren't. They try to be as cool, they try to be as rich, they try to be as funny, but fall short of our standards. And so we hold onto that for security.

When our mentality becomes an exclusive one, we move out of the culture of the Kingdom of God. It's been said that the Church exists for those outside it. It would do us a lot of good if we Christians ran with this truth in every area of life. Not just in the context of Christianity and non-Christianity, but in every respect. A ghetto mentality breeds disconnect and disrespect which bears fruit in other evils. Our pride is the reservoir of sin (see Sirach 10). And sin sure knows how to procreate.

So, may we examine how we think of people who are unlike us. Let us dismantle the social castes and lifestyle imaginations that hold us prisoner and inhibit us from loving our neighbor. May we recognize that dignity is fundamental and cannot be taken from anyone who has been made in the image and likeness of God.

A Wrecking Ball to Babel

2007-09-19T21:41:00.002+08:00

During winter, we'd turn on the radiator to heat up the air inside our home. Winter was spent wishing for spring, because it could get quite cold and bleak. Spring and summer would inevitably come, signaling that it was time to turn on the airconditioning. When you think about it, it's quite remarkable that we are capable of creating whatever environment we please. At the push of a button, we can change the channel, the soundtrack, the mood, the person we are talking to, the temperature.

I've begun to wonder if technological advancement has actually brought us closer to the ideal, closer to God's intended order of things. Or if it has separated us. I think it depends on us. There's a story in the Bible about the Tower of Babel. And simply put, it talks about how the technological achievement of mankind empowered them to the point that they felt they could approximate God's greatness. They could match the power of the Creator, they could reach the heavens. They were now creators, too. This was their downfall. And instead of drawing closer to God, they became all the more separated from Him and each other.

Many times, people tell me about how they feel separated from God. Many feel that they are separated from their place in the world among a sea of people. Many are in need of direction or purpose in life. Many have absolutely got to hear from God. But many don't. Many can't.

It's no wonder because in many ways, we've returned to Babel. We've come so far in terms of what we can create, and how we can manipulate the environment to suit our tastes. When there is spiritual turmoil, we can turn on the television and drown it out. We can get on YouTube to cheer ourselves up. We can text a friend. We can turn up the music. We can go out and forget about it by watching a movie and getting rowdy with friends, because even if we live far from each other, we have vehicles that get us wherever we want. We can daisychain our distractions.

We have made ourselves creators of alternative environments, where we are kings and queens, dictators of the way things should be. Instead of taking circumstances and silencing ourselves to consider what God may be telling us, we can do all sorts of things to create another environment, if the current one doesn't suit us.

Don't be afraid to face things. To switch things off if you have to. May what we've created draw us closer to truth, to our place in the world, to the service of others, to the presence of God. Otherwise, we're rebuilding Babel: a testament to our supposed greatness, a monument to our downfall.

Nice Legs: Musings on Dreams and Visions

2007-09-19T21:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I drive around the city and it just hits me. This world is broken. It shouldn't be this way. She shouldn't be selling sampaguita at 2am. That kid shouldn't be sniffing that stuff. That annoying driver shouldn't be such a jerk. And I shouldn't be judging him.

Don't get me wrong, the world and all the people in it have many great qualities and beautiful attributes. But we exist as "glorious ruins", to borrow the words of Brennan Manning. God intended for things to be better, but our selfish designs ruined us. In the beginning, the Creator worked His wonders and made all we know, crowning it with man and woman. It was perfect. But man and woman trashed creation with sin, and that was the atomic explosion that changed everything. Perfection violated is quite grave. When an expensive dress is stained; it's far worse than if an undershirt is stained. The more precious the thing violated, the more serious the matter. You can imagine how serious it was when God's perfect masterpiece of love was defiled. It was so gravely terrible, that we still see the effects today. The world was broken then, and is currently in need of repair.

That's where dreams and visions come in. Dreams and visions are a God-given solution to the world's broken state.

Michaelangelo once said, "I saw the angel in the marble, and I carved until I set him free." This is a great illustration of dreams and visions. Seeing the angel was the dream; laboring to set him free was vision at work. A dream is abstract. A vision is more tangible. Vision is a dream with legs. It makes the life of a dream more exciting by directing it to a purpose, and setting it into motion. A vision is a directed dream that you're actually doing something about. Thus, to have vision is to know the ideal -- the dream -- and actually do something to make it real.

All throughout the history of mankind, the people who have made their mark were those who had dreams and visions. I love to think about Abraham and how God told him to look to the heavens and try to count the stars. He gave Abraham a huge dream, that God would make of him a great nation as numerous as the stars or the sand. And what made it significant was that Abraham's dream was directly tied into God's dream to save the world through Jesus. I think the whole of Scripture is a story of a dream and a vision becoming reality. God's broken masterpiece is being rebuilt, with Christ as the Hero of the story.

And here's the cool bit. We're in on it, too. We're like sidekicks or something.

The Church is God's vehicle for the rebuilding of the dream. We are His visioneers.We are His legs. It sounds funny, being God's legs, right? But we are! And people of true vision are more than just selfish dreamers, obsessed with acquiring cool stuff in this life. The purest sense of vision, the most potent world-changing personal vision, is the one that identifies most closely with God's vision. That's what made the patriarchs, the prophets and all those surreal visionary saints more than just hallucinating freaks. They were visionaries who saw God's dream for the world and dedicated their lives to making it a reality.

So here's my prayer for everyone: may we be dreamers. And more importantly, may we be people of vision.

When You Can't Do Anything Right

2007-09-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

There are some days when you feel like you can't do anything right. Sometime last year, it was one of those days. And to top it off, I had to preach about I forget what. So I did my best to pray and prepare for the talk. Come the event, I came forward, did my little 30-minute spiel-cum-exhortation and that was that. Honestly, I wasn't feeling it. When it's time to teach, it's good to feel like you're in the zone. That day was not one of them. My outline was all over the place, and so was I. But my heart was set on communicating the message as best I could. I gave it my all. And that was that.

Yesterday a friend of mine was sharing casually about her turning point in life, when she decided she would live for the Lord, and serve Him and others. Turns out the day her life changed, was the same day last year that I wasn't feeling it. And during the teaching I was giving, God was working on her heart through what was being said. I am always humbled when this happens, humbled in the deepest sense. It is then when you realize that it's all God and never You.

The decision to do what needs to be done often lies at the intersection of your not feeling it, and someone else's time of salvation. And at the moment, you have no idea how significant your choice is.

So today, who cares if you aren't feeling the burning passion to make a difference with your life? Who cares if you're all dried up and dying? Give it a shot anyway. Don't back down from the challenge to do God's will. Be not afraid. Do it uneasy. Make sure your heart is right with God, and prepare as best you can. But even when you feel insufficient, if you know God is leading you somewhere, go for it. The sweetest offerings are the costly ones.

"We hold this treasure in earthen vessels to show that this power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7

Clowning Around

2007-09-19T21:39:00.000+08:00

I’ve never really liked clowns. Maybe it’s because they are freaky, with their white makeup and secret identities. Or maybe it’s because I am one of them. I’d love to be an acrobat, a trapeze artist, or maybe a tightrope walker. Someone who wows people and draws out their wonder. Sometimes I try too hard to be one of the big acts in the show. But I really am an awkward clown. Most people are.

Yesterday, I came across a book by Henri Nouwen called Clowning in Rome, where he recounts his time living in the Italian city. In a place never short of people of stature such as Bishops and Cardinals, for some reason, he drew inspiration from the people on the periphery. In the introduction, Nouwen writes:

"The clowns aren't the center of the events. They appear between the great acts, fumble and fall and make us smile again, following the tensions created by the heroes we came to admire. The clowns don't have it together... they are awkward, out of balance and left-handed, but...they are on our side. The clowns remind us with a tear and a smile that we are sharing the same human weakness. The longer I was in Rome, the more I enjoyed the clowns. The peripheral people who by their humble, saintly lives evoke a smile and awaken hope…"

I think culture has a fixation with the acrobats and the trapeze artists who wow us with their great prowess. Celebrity is all the rage, even in its inability to move us as profoundly as the simplest acts of love and compassion.

Think about the people who truly moved you on the most personal level. They weren’t the main show. They weren’t necessarily the high-profile mainstays – they probably weren’t. The moments I’ve felt most loved by anyone wasn’t in a big-time moment. It was in the margins, off-stage, or at home when someone showed genuine love, concern or compassion, oftentimes in the least favorable situations. And I want to affect people that way, too.

Now, my emphasis on clowns isn’t meant to condone our screw-ups and misgivings. By all means, try to rectify mistakes and work on your flaws. Aspire and dream to be the best you can be. But remember that it’s alright to be the side show, and not the main thing. It’s alright to not have to wow people with our magnificence. That’s God’s job. Humility and sainthood have everything to do with accepting who we really are in Christ. Yes, we are conquerors and victors – but because of Him, and not us.

Most of us will never be the perfect acrobats. We will always be the imperfect clowns. And that’s perfectly alright.

"We hold this treasure in earthen vessels to show that this power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7

Is kissing a sin?

2007-08-01T17:25:00.000+08:00

Catholic Morality

K I S S I N G

By WINFRID HERBST, S.D.S.

Is kissing sinful?

This is a question we have often been asked during our years of pleasant association with young people. Here we merely give a concise summary on the subject of kissing; later we shall elaborate on the subject.

We distinguish between kissing and kissing. Rather, let us say that there are four categories of kisses:

1. Kisses that are merely a sacred and lovely symbol used to express deep and beautiful emotion and are not, of course, sinful; the mutual kisses of mother and child; the mutual kisses of husband and wife; the kisses imprinted on a sacred object, such as the Bible, the crucifix, the ring of a bishop, the relic of a saint, the altar, the hand of a priest, etc.; Kisses imprinted on some dear object, such as the flag of one’s country, the soil of one’s native land, the hand of a benefactor, etc., etc.

2. Non-passionate kisses — that is, those which are of such a nature as not to arouse the passions of a normal person — are not sinful in themselves, though they may easily prepare the way for passionate kisses, especially when indulged in by young persons of the opposite sex. In such kisses real affection is felt but there is normally no exciting of the passions. A kiss of this type is not sinful at all, even if it be exchanged between a young lady and her gentleman friend. The engaged, in order to foster their mutual love, may make use of the non-passionate kiss and embrace; but they must remember that continual hugging and kissing, even of the non-passionate type, may readily bring on serious temptations, and so should be avoided.

3. Kissing for the thrill of it, because of the excitement (non-venereal) produced by "an increase of pulse and respiration which causes a feeling of exhilaration" is not in itself sinful, if there is no reaction of the organs of generation; but such kisses, in certain circumstances, easily prove a source of danger because they prepare the way for arousing the passions. Kissing in a spirit of mischievousness, a stolen kiss, for instance, or forcing a kiss on a girl who resists, or kissing just because of the novelty of the act, is hardly a sin against the sixth commandment, but may offend against the virtue of charity.

4. Passionate kissing, just because intense or passionate, stirs up venereal pleasure and is forbidden under pain of serious sin. Kisses not at first passionate, ordinarily become so if prolonged for some time, so that really prolonged kissing is classified as passionate. In short, all kissing to arouse venereal pleasure is gravely sinful because of the intention. There is no slightest doubt in the mind of any decent man or woman that kissing between unmarried people becomes sinful when passion takes over. Any normal person is fully aware that under certain circumstances passion was meant by nature to take over. The kiss was by God and nature intended to make men and women grow passionately excited. The kiss is under those conditions the normal and natural prelude to physical union. We cannot say in general, then, that kissing is sinful or not sinful. We must take each case as it is.

I think you are too severe in your views about kissing, as expressed in replies given from time to time. (See following pages.)

As regards our views about kissing, they are really not ours. In all our replies we merely give, sometimes verbatim and sometimes in our own words, the teachings of moral theology and of those who are competent to write on the subject. And almost invariably we purposely seek the less severe views on this subject of perennial interest.

When we received this query, we looked over the pamphlet rack in a church where we happened to be and found three booklets on purity, all with ecclesiastical approbation and the oldest dated 1936. We give an extract from each, about kissing chiefly:

Quote:

"Not every kiss or embrace between company-keepers is a sin, but they easily lead to what is sinful. Necking and petting should never be indulged in by those who wish to remain virtuous. "Of all the youth who go to parties, attend dances, and ride together in automobiles, more than ninety per cent indulge in hugging and kissing," says Judge Lindsey of Denver. His long and intimate experience with youth well qualifies him to speak. "Fifty per cent of the original ninety per cent indulge in half-way sex intimacies that wreck the health and morals alike . . . fifteen to twenty-five per cent of those who begin with hugging and kissing, eventually "go the limit", continues the Judge.

"The second great danger of cradle courtships is that of immorality — passionate petting, kissing, parking in an automobile in lovers’ lanes and the like. When curiosity is strong in any department of the mind, experiments are likely to be set up to dissolve that curiosity. And constant, close companionship between boys and girls in courtship right at the time when curiosity about sex is strongest, is bound to bring the less disciplined into trouble."

"It is true that not every kiss or embrace between those keeping company is a sin. If it is not prolonged or passionate, and is not accompanied by any immodesty, it is not sinful, but even then it can produce a strong tendency towards evil that must be seriously resisted. What is called ‘necking’ or ‘petting’ or ‘soul-kissing’, etc., is forbidden because such conduct is intimately bound up with, or inevitably leads to, indulgence in forbidden pleasure."

How about kissing? Will you kindly explain why it is so dangerous and all that?

A woman has written the following article on a subject that is of interest to young men as well as to young women and it is so sensible, so clear, so instructive, that it deserves to be widely circulated:

Quote:

"I get a great many letters from young girls who want to know what they shall do about the kissing proposition. They say that it is practically a case of no kiss, no beau, for the young men who take them about demand a good-night kiss as pay for their courtesies, and if they refuse, it is, indeed, goodnight, in the slang phrase for they never see these osculatory youths again.

"Now the innate modesty and delicacy of those girls revolt at yielding their lips to men to whom they are not even engaged; to men who do not even pretend to be in love with them. It violates their sense of what is proper, but, at the same time, they do not want to be regarded as prudes or Puritans. Still less do they desire to be wall flowers left out of all the fun and parties, and numbered with those forlorn damsels who never have any attention from men.

"So the girl is torn between her instinctive sense of what is right and her knowledge of expediency, and she wants to know what she shall do and how she shall answer the eternal argument of man when he is trying to persuade a woman into doing the thing that he knows she should not do. To kiss or not to kiss, that’s the question that troubles her.

"There can be but one answer to give a girl to this problem. It is no, no, no! A maiden’s lips should be kept inviolate, and the first man’s kiss that is pressed upon them should be the kiss of love from the man she expects to marry. For a girl to give her lips to every Tom, Dick and Harry who takes her to a moving picture show or escorts her home from a dance is something unthinkable....

"It is a pity that girls can never be made to realize that the most alluring and attractive thing about them is the aura of innocence and unsophistication that surrounds them. It is the whiteness, the untrodden snowness of their souls that is their chief charm, and they never make so fatal a mistake as when they throw this away.

"If girls were only wise enough to realize how fascinating aloofness is, and what an appeal unsullied purity makes to the masculine imagination, they would keep every man at arm’s length at least until he had come out and popped the question. They would not think for a minute of putting up with cheap familiarities from men that rob them of their freshness and make them little shop-worn bits of humanity that have been pawed over like the goods on a bargain table. Girls should never forget that it is the shy and shrinking violet that is man’s favourite flower not the brazen sunflower.

"My girl correspondent says that she does not know how to answer a man when he begs her to kiss him and tells her that there is no harm in it, and that his arguments make her feel foolish because she seems to be making a great ado over very little matter. There is one answer that every girl can make to a man’s request for a kiss.

"She can ask him if he would like his sister to kiss any man goodnight who happened to call on her. She can ask him what he would advise his sister to do if his sister were in her place. And she can ask him if he would like to think that the girl that he is going to marry some day had kissed a hundred men who were mere casual acquaintances.

"Such questions will make any decent man writhe. A man will tell his own sister quickly enough what he thinks on the subject and his own lips would grow cold and stiff on his sweetheart’s if he remembered that her soft young mouth had belonged to a long procession of men before him. "Girls can never bear in mind too constantly the fact that not all men play fair with women, and that men are not always just or logical in judging them. A man might spend hours, days and months persuading a girl to do something that is wrong, and have a contempt for her ever afterwards for yielding to him. He will argue down her every instinct and scruple and principle against kissing him, and the minute she does he will lose his reverence for her as for something utterly fine and delicate....

"Girls should also bear in mind that a wedding ring on the hand is worth a basket of them in the dim distance, and that the girls who have the most beaux generally get the fewest and the poorest makeshifts of husbands. A girl observes that those girls who are free and easy in their manners, who exact no sort of respect from men and permit them to indulge in familiarities and take liberties with them, girls who drink and smoke with men, and listen to and tell off-coloured stories, girls who are good sports — these girls are what we call popular, and are generally surrounded by a horde of men. Especially while they are young and good looking, and full of high spirits.

"But what the girl does not notice is that this type of young girl very seldom marries, and when she does she almost invariably marries a crooked stick who wasn’t worth picking up. The fast girl, the girl without modesty or delicate womanly reserve, may be the kind of a girl that men like to play with, but she isn’t the sort of woman that they want for a wife and for the mother of their children.

"That is why you are so often surprised at the marriages that men make. Men whom you have known of as gay rounders bob up with a wife who is a Sunday school teacher. Men who have been noted chorus girl chasers go to some country village and marry girls who never saw a brighter lamp than a kerosene lamp. They don’t want the lips on which a thousand kisses have rained. They want the lips that have never been kissed at all.

"And don’t be misled, girls, into making the mistake of believing that because a man asks you to kiss him it is any indication of his being in love with you. A kiss is no guarantee of affection. Judas betrayed his Lord with a kiss, and every black-hearted traitor of a man who ever betrayed the faith of an innocent and trusting young girl began his devil’s work in the same way, with a kiss.

"The primrose path that leads to perdition for women is paved with the kisses of men. The thing that no money could have hired them to do, that no argument could have persuaded them to do, they have been kissed into doing. For it is no flight of the poet’s fancy when he speaks about women being made drunk on kisses. It is a literal fact, and that is why no girl is safe who permits men to kiss her."

Can a girl be too strict as regards kisses, caresses, and other familiarities with the young man she is keeping company with?

First of all, there is a big general rule for company keeping. Such things as holding one another’s hands, sitting on one another’s lap, kissing, caressing, fondling, embracing, and other familiarities are very dangerous. Such actions work slyly though directly on the nerves of the body and render them morbidly sensitive; they arouse emotions and passions that are anything but proper, and waken and stimulate thoughts, instincts, feelings, desires and, but too often, even actions that are positively indecent. It is a clear case of leading oneself into serious temptations, which frequently end in a fall. That is why these things are usually sinful, that is why there is no truth in the assertion: "There is no harm in it." Now, that is, the big, general rule.

That is why it is clear that no girl can be too strict in these things. If a young man is dissatisfied with the maidenly modesty and prudence of a good girl and insists upon tokens of affection of the kind mentioned above and will break off his friendship if he does not get them, then simply let him go. The true Christian gentleman will admire and love a girl all the more for her firm stand in matters of modesty. And such a one will be an ideal husband. It is perfectly right for you to be very strict. May God bless such girls! They are truly wise.

When a young man is keeping company with a girl with the intention of marriage does he do wrong in kissing her? Is it a mortal sin to kiss in a passionate way when keeping company? When is a kiss a sin and when is it not?

Lovers who are engaged to be married may exchange respectable marks of affection and love, in a moderate degree. A modest kiss is one such mark of affection. But it must remain modest, and must not become willfully passionate and sensual and, hence, grievously sinful. It will easily become thus sinful, if repeated often at the same meeting. One friendly and pure goodnight kiss is not dangerous for engaged couples. But it oughte acbe sufficient. The passionate and lingering kiss, or the so-called soul kiss between lovers, is a mortal sin, because it offers the occasion and inducement to grievous sensual emotions and gratifications.

Relative to the question as to when kissing is sinful and when it is not, it may, in general, be said that whatever conduct exposes you or your partner to the proximate danger of yielding to impurity in thought, desire, feeling, or action is a mortal sin. And if you say that passionate kisses do not involve this danger for you or your companion, you are grossly deceiving yourself. Such an assertion makes one think of a dulled conscience and a blinded soul. Incipient or advanced lovers who are not yet engaged to be married should not at all indulge in kissing and similar demonstrations of intimate and ardent love since their relations are not close enough to warrant it. If they embark at so early a stage upon these amorous practices, there is every danger that they will proceed from what appears innocent and modest to what they know is not, and the magnitude of the harm and disaster that will ensue to both parties will probably outrun all their calculations.

We believe that the above gives principles that will enable you to act rightly in all circumstances that may arise. We add, however, as a serious warning, that, though there may be some who have no evil thoughts or desires whatsoever in kissing and petting, they may be the occasion of gross sins of immoral thoughts, desires, and emotions to their partners. Remember this safe and simple rule: "Never do anything, when the two of you are alone, which you would be ashamed to do in the presence of your parents; or which you would be ashamed to reveal to your parents."

Is it a sin to give a boy friend a good night kiss after you have spent a pleasant evening together?

That depends upon many things. If it is a pure, modest, friendly, passing kiss and does not give rise in either party to impure thoughts, desires, or feelings that are consented to, it is not a sin. But those who are not yet engaged to be married should not indulge at all in kissing or in similar demonstrations of intimate love. Don’t, don’t! It is dangerous. Protect yourself and the young man you love by refraining from all undue familiarities. If not sinful now, it may soon become so and lead to harm and disaster that will outrun all your calculations. Don’t! A young man with the proper sense of virtue and honour will always respect his friend’s concern for her modesty and innocence as manifested in the observance of this important "Don’t!" He will love her all the more for it. He will look upon her declining even "a mere kiss" as a convincing sign of her great shyness and fear of being gradually beguiled into the loss of what she considers — and what he also considers — her greatest treasure. Be sure of this: a girl who is easy and ready to grant unmaidenly privileges to a young man loses just that much of his respect and rightly so. Such a young man will just naturally conclude that she is ready to lend her lips to anybody who comes along — and has doubtless already done so. No good Catholic gentleman wants such a girl.

How does a girl refuse a man’s demands for privileges (in dating, company keeping) and still hold his attention?

You want to keep in circulation with Catholic fellows. You dread the very thought of becoming a permanent member of the unmarried ladies’ club. But because of the problem of straying hands and your own "Hands off" policy, the fellows do not date you any more. And you have yet to find a suitable and workable answer to the question asked above.

The question is not an easy one to answer. True enough, it is easy to say what a girl should not do. She should never do anything that is sinful herself or permit anything to be done to her which would make her accessory to the sin of another. Sin is, the greatest evil in the world; and not for the whole world and everything in it may we commit sin.

A girl should not do what so many girls do in the mad world of today — she should not sacrifice her womanhood in order to get and hold a man.

Without being prudish a girl can be habitually virtuous. With this habit of virtue she will ward off advances, refuse kissing and necking, all as a matter of course, as a matter of good sense and good taste. She will set standards for the boys of her acquaintance; and if they do not want to live up to those standards, she will consider it a good riddance if they betake themselves elsewhere. She will remember that it is up to the girl to draw the line as regards petting, etc., and that she can always tell a boy "where to get off." A chaste girl can make a boy keep hands off, if she wants to. She knows that "nothing makes a woman more esteemed by the opposite sex than chastity." She will never compromise. And if the boy is worth knowing, he will accept her high standards with respect and admiration.

The boy you have dated three or four times, let us say, is a friend, but he does not yet share your heart. So you are perfectly correct in refusing a kiss, even it is so annoyingly insisted upon. Say "No" and stick to it. As for parked cars and sun bathing together, such things are taboo, whether he is the one-and-only or not.

Emotions and passions are like sparks within us. Disturb them and you are liable to get burned. Also, when something is easy to get, its value soon dwindles and its desirability fades. When a girl’s kisses are free for the asking, she risks the loss of not only her own good reputation, but also her charm and appeal. If a boy demands "necking" as part of the date, he shows that he has no respect for you. You are just a plaything to him. Then certainly, he’s not worth dating, is he?

So be independent of such individuals even if it means week after week without dates for a while. It is much better to be popular with God than with men, for God’s love is true and everlasting, with the promise of eternal reward and happiness. So stay on the "pedestal of pure womanhood" where God has put you and ignore the techniques of modern dating. Remember that purity and integrity are a girl’s most precious possessions. Be a girl with honour, and some day you will date a very special young man. Like the others, he will ask for a kiss — as most fellows do — to find out what sort of a girl you are. When you refuse, this fellow will accept your decision without question or argument, and in his heart he’ll be saying, "This is the kind of girl I’ve been looking for, someone to be proud of. Easy on the eyes, but not easy on the take." He’ll honour and respect you and learn to love you for what you are. And you will suddenly discover that he is sharing your heart, and be glad you kept your little "treasure of lave" just for him.

The above advice to us from a girl who has learned a lot through reading and experience and who is doing much to get other girls to keep themselves on the "pedestal of pure womanhood" is certainly instructive. But, you will say, it is again telling you what not to do and is not solving your problem. Suppose that I will then be not only without dates for a while, you say, but never get any date again. Suppose that I then never date Òa very special young man". Suppose they all pass me by and leave me alone on that "pedestal of pure womanhood".

Very well, suppose it all. Remember that God’s love is everlasting. You’ll probably escape so much more than you miss. But whatever you do, refuse to fall in line with the ideas of modern dating in order to get and keep a boy friend and, as a result, step very low off your pedestal and cheapen yourself and let yourself be pawed over and commit sin.

Since we mentioned above that sin is the greatest evil in the world, it might be well here to quote this striking passage from Newman’s Apologia: "The Catholic Church holds it better for the sun and moon to drop from heaven, for the earth to fall, and for all the many millions on it to die of starvation in extremest agony, as far as temporal affliction goes, than one soul, I will not say, should be lost but should commit one single venial sin, should tell one willful untruth, or should steal one poor farthing without excuse."

But what you want to know, and what so many other girls want to know, is how you can, despite such refusals, hold his attention.

The surest way of still holding his attention, as is implied in the above, is your very refusal of concessions. If that does not attract him, then his going is good riddance.

In addition to that primary requisite, the following suggestions may be helpful:

1. Be charming and pleasant, smart and as well dressed as possible, clever and attractive. Make virtue attractive and yourself attractive with it. Everybody knows from bitter experience that high courage is needed to be consistently good. All admire virtue because virtue is essentially admirable.

2. Men, as a rule, are much less willing to marry than are women. That is why there are, so they say, more Catholic bachelors than there are Catholic spinsters. Therefore, since most marriages are brought about by the young woman, when you meet a good Catholic man whom you think you would like to marry, go about the business of tactfully, intelligently, and virtuously interesting him and, after you are sure he is the man for you, subtly persuade him to believe that he wants to marry you and with chaste and charming womanly wiles get him to propose to you. Don’t wait for the young man to take all the steps. Employ the approved and maidenly arts by which the interest of a man is won. Make the natural and quite proper overtures to marriage.

3. Be a good listener. A man wants a good audience. Instead of chattering so much about your own interests, listen to him with sympathy, interest, understanding. Encourage him to talk about his plans, his ambitions, his struggles. Let him feel that from you he can always get courage and encouragement in breasting the world. A man wants his future wife to be a good listener, a restful influence, a centre of peace, an inspiration, an audience.

4. Occasionally invite the young man to your house and entertain him for the evening; let him see your home and feel that you can make his home a centre of peace. Cook him a good meal and serve it in your home; he will expect you to prepare good meals for him after you are married. Let him see, too, how delightfully natural and good you are to your folks at home—and how neat even when not dressed up.

5. Go with the man to the places to which he likes to go and do the things he likes to do. Do not be selfish. Forget your own preferences. Do not insist that he go to places he does not care to go to or do things he does not care to do. Sensibly and prudently keep him from spending too much time and money on you. Still, a certain generosity towards the girl with whom a man goes out is a good guarantee of his generosity towards the woman he will marry.

6. Do things together: walk, ride, go to the movies, attend concerts, lectures, church; read the same books, cultivate the same hobbies, etc. Try to find enjoyment in doing things together, simple, inexpensive, interesting things.

7. If you remember that the best of human beings are often weak, men disappoint girls and girls disappoint men and that both men and women are too often foolish, if you don’t expect perfection from the man you are going with, you will forgive him if he is guilty of a frailty or of a venial sin. You will remember that to err is human, to forgive, divine. Just as we must daily ask God to forgive us our trespasses, so we also have frequent need to forgive one another our trespasses. If the wrongs done, even if they greatly hurt your vanity and convenience, are really at worst only venial sins, not only forgive them but forget them. Better still, take practically no notice of them. Do not let them disturb the course of your friendship. Even a more serious trespass, if it is but rare, if it is but an occasional lapse of weakness, had better be gracefully forgiven and forgotten. If he sinks so low as to do the sort of things that are mortal sins, sorrowfully but firmly turn away and find someone better.

Remember that unmarried men and women may not deliberately accept or procure sexual pleasure in any way. It does not make any difference how common the sin is, how easily it can be committed, how generally it is done, or how briefly the forbidden act is enjoyed. Deliberate sexual pleasure has no place in courtship. It is forbidden under pain of mortal sin. And, let us plainly add, impurity before marriage not infrequently may engender infidelity after marriage.

From all this advice to girls some might get the impression that the boys are a bad lot, that they are always to blame. We do not wish to give such an impression. As girls must be on their guard, so, too, the boys must be on their guard as regards the girls. Just to bring out this point, we quote the following from Dorothy Fremont Grant’s "SO! You Want to Get Married!" (Milwaukee: Bruce, 1947.)

"Girls early come to the realization that they have a mysterious ‘power’ over boys. But their exercise of it is often miserably abused. Deliberately the girl drops her hankie or her compact for the mere ‘pleasure’ ... of bringing him to her feet so that, at her leisure, she can give him swift kick. Not without reason are some boys, and some men, wary of girls and women. Deliberately the coarse girl will play one boy off against another merely for the ‘pleasure’ of receiving their competitive offerings for restoration to her favour. (And, by the way, it is still good form for boys to confine offerings to flowers, candy, and books!)

"As deliberately as such foolish girls act I have put the word pleasure in quotation marks, because this sort of pleasure is illicit and immoral. It is essentially dishonest, cunning, and cruel. The little tots would call such a girl ‘a dirty cheat’, and without exaggeration. This is the girl who deserves to be packed away on the shelf forever.

"It is true that by woman’s very nature she does have a ‘power’ over man, a moral power. The moral tone of society is set by woman, not by man, because she is the natural guardian of moral virtues; this is a portion of her high calling. Except by physical force no woman is involved in an immoral act against her will. Therefore the standard of conduct between boys and girls is the major responsibility of the girl. There is a real truth in the expression, ‘She led him on...’ "

A survey among Catholic high school boys and girls in one city "indicates that unexplained warnings and verbal ‘don’ts’ fail to convince the majority of adolescent boys and girls that there is any danger in what they consider ‘musts’ or routine necessities of any successful dating system. 22 per cent saw absolutely nothing seriously wrong in necking and petting, and 24 per cent claimed that such indulgences are ‘not necessarily’ wrong, while 9 per cent believed that ‘petting only’ is wrong. From the reasons given to support their judgment of these actions, it is evident that the average boy and girl are completely ignorant of the nature of the psychic and physical factors operating in the sex urge.

"While the majority saw no need for necking and petting on a date, as many as 341 seniors considered such behaviour a ‘routine part of a girl’s relationship with boys.’ Though nearly 100 seniors considered such behaviour ‘cheap’ and ‘disgusting,’ none of the 1,042 who responded in the negative gave any ethical principles or moral reasons for their stand. Only one 17-year-old boy came close to any substantial insight into the problem when he stated: ‘After you go with a girl for a while, you realize this isn’t the thing that counts’ " (America, July 14, 1951, pp. 377 - 378).

Do you think it right for a boy to expect a kiss after a date, as if it were a reward for taking you out?

Once upon a time a good Catholic wrote to me and said, among other things:

"Father, when I go out with boys, I don’t care to do the things that some do. You understand what I mean, don’t you? I mean about parked cars, shows, etc. Then, about kissing. I do not think it is really proper for a boy to expect a kiss after about the third or fourth date, as though this were his reward for taking me out. I want the boy to have the highest respect and courtesy for womanhood. Is this the right way of thinking? As for myself, I do not care to go out with boys any more. I did have the desire to, as is only natural for a girl, but now I would rather play tennis, volley ball, etc. Why must there always be that cheapening element in company keeping? Isn’t it a remote preparation for marriage, which is truly a beautiful and sacred state?"

l am twenty years old and am going with a good Catholic boy. I don’t go in for heavy petting, maybe just a goodnight kiss or one or two more. Am I right in believing that if no passions or emotions are aroused, such kissing is considered safe? If the passions or emotions are noticed in yourself or in the other person and you quit immediately, is there any sin involved? What sort of sin is involved, if any, as regards the thoughts and feelings (maybe desires) that go with some kisses and that sometimes come when you are just out with a boy or perhaps by yourself? Are these temptations? Or how can you distinguish? How would you confess these sins?

"Am I right in believing that if no passions or emotions are aroused, such kissing is considered safe?" It might be possible for a non-passionate kiss, such as you mention, to be exchanged between a young lady and her gentleman friend. If so, it is not sinful at all because, as we are presuming, it is of such a nature as not to arouse the passions of a normal person. It is this non-passionate kiss and embrace that the engaged may make use of, very moderately and briefly and not too frequently lest there be serious temptations, because in order to foster their mutual love they have a right to show each other certain marks of this love. But because a kiss between a man and a woman is a symbol, a sign of deep affection, and the expression of the man’s and woman’s desire to bind that affection in marriage, it should rarely be tolerated in the case of a casual companion. To say goodnight by means of the symbolic expression which is the pledge of undying love is quite of place. Don’t! And it is never safe. A kiss begun in friendship can easily end in passion.

"If the passions or emotions are noticed in yourself or in the other person and you quit immediately, is there any sin involved?"

If it was a non-passionate kiss, as mentioned above, a token of honourable love, such as may be lawful even between persons of the opposite sex, and if the kissing was really not done in order to arouse venereal pleasure, and then you notice passions or emotions in yourself or in the other person and you quit immediately and do not consent to such passions and emotions, there may be no sin involved. But you who are asking are the girl in the case and are perhaps not aware that the young man is naturally much more passionate than you who are inclined to be merely affectionate and distantly maternal. You do not know what is going on in that young man’s interior. He may be giving willful consent to thoughts, desires, and even to the most vehement feelings. In that case he has committed a mortal sin and you co-operated in it. It may still not be a sin for you, because you never thought that an innocent goodnight kiss would lead to anything like that.

"What sort of a sin is involved, if any, as regards the thoughts and feelings (maybe desires) that go with some kisses, and that sometimes come when you are just out with a boy or perhaps by yourself?"

If you give willful consent to such thoughts, feelings, desires, that is, if you rest in them with content, are glad you have them, make no effort to banish them but rather entertain them, you commit a mortal sin. Kissing of a passionate kind which stirs up venereal pleasure (and really prolonged kissing is classified as passionate) is forbidden under pain of serious sin. A kiss may be the spark that will blow up the highly inflammable passions of youth and start a raging fire that cannot be put out. A man can be rushed by kisses into brutal things, and a girl can be kissed into anything, to the lifelong shame, regret and remorse of both and often to the ruin of the girl besides.

"Are these temptations? Or how can you distinguish? How would you confess these sins?’

As a learned author says: "Here it is wise to distinguish between what is merely a natural phenomenon and what is a temptation. It is entirely natural for a normal person at given times to experience carnal imaginations, thoughts, feelings and desires. It would be a sign of abnormality or constitutional disorder if he did not experience them. But those experiences are not as yet a temptation by any means. They become a temptation only when there is added to them the approach of lust, or the lure to indulge in them unlawfully. This lust constitutes the temptation. As long as it is not responded to or dallied with there can be no question of sin, however strong the natural phenomenon may be."

Try always to avoid doing things that do not at all have to be done and you know will bring about such temptations. And when the temptations do come as come they will in spite of everything, quietly resist them with prayer and attention to other things.

When a boy and a girl are keeping company, is it all right for them to kiss each other?

In his book, "Those Terrible Teens" (New York: Declan X. McMullen 1947), Father Vincent P. McCorry says some very plain things about the sign that does not signify. To begin with, he says that if you saw strange man enter a street car, pay his fare and then proceed to shake hands with everyone in the car, you would say that the poor fellow was either crazy or inebriated. Why? Because he was using a familiar sign that was meaningless. The people of our civilization recognize the clasp of hands as a sign of friendship. So, too, in the civilized world which we know the kiss is a gesture and a contact which is understood to be the sign of love. As such a sign the kiss reaches its perfection when it is exchanged between a man and a woman who are bound together in the union of true love. Such a kiss is a sublime and holy thing. Our age, which has deified love of the sexual sort, has simultaneously debased and degraded the love sign, the kiss. No one will pretend that a girl can love every young man with whom she associates, yet they keep assuring her with all propriety she may kiss any boy with whom she spends an hour or an evening. Well might we blame a girl for making herself so sickeningly cheap. Yet in our own day it is only what the smart contemporary world, what Hollywood and the popular magazines and the beastly advertisements tell her to do. We know that Our Blessed Lord, in His own life, said some strangely harsh things about the world and the devil and their conspiracy against weak flesh. The plain, discouraging truth is that for many a boy and girl today the kiss is no longer a sign of love. It is no longer a sign of anything. It is either a brutal, physical sport, or - God save the mark! — a payment. It is a degrading idea that the girl is somehow indebted to the boy for taking her out, and that the coin of her payment is the kiss. The suggestion bears a distinct and malodorous resemblance to commercialized vice. For Catholic girls, nothing more need be said.

We now quote verbatim the last three paragraphs of this classical chapter of an excellent book that you should have:

Quote:

"The kiss exists, now, for its own sake, without relating to meaning of any sort. It is sought, given and exchanged, not to express and glorify a gorgeous reality, but to yield a momentary thrill. The kiss used to rise up from the heart; now it is chained to the body. It used to incarnate the highest aspirations of two who loved; now it embodies the lowest desires of two who lust for one another. The kiss was once a poem and a song; now it is a kind of silent blasphemy. So ends the modern history of the sublime sign of love.

"Lke every other portion of the noble human body which the most high God first lovingly formed out of the slime of the earth, the lips are a miracle and a meditation. The lips of the infant draw life from its mother’s breast. The lips help, throughout life, in the normal, necessary functions of eating and drinking. The lips play their part in the wonder of speech and in the equal marvel of silence. The lips make a straight line of courage in adversity, and softly part in the rare moments of surpassing joy which this poor world affords. The lips whisper the act of contrition, and open to welcome the white flake that is Christ Jesus. The lips will taste a last anointing with holy oil, and - their last loving sign, please God! - will be pressed against the crucifix in the very article of death. The lips will be gently closed by loving hands, and will open again one day to sing forever the rapturous praise of the triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Is it all right for them to kiss each other? In her excellent book, "SO! You Want to Get Married!," Dorothy Grant says among other things:

Quote:

"What about kissing?

"All right, what about it? We may as well meet this ever-pressing question right off.

"Instead of ‘ganging up’ with their own kind during the initial moments of a party, why don’t boys and girls go right to it and kiss? If there is no harm in a kiss why be ‘bashful about coming forward? Why not kiss under a brilliantly lighted chandelier instead of out in the moonlight behind the honeysuckle vine? Why not?

"A girl would kiss her father before a room full of people. Why not a boy?

"Can it be because maybe there is harm in a kiss?

"Of course, kissing dad is old stuff. Kissing a boy is definitely a kiss of another colour — usually quite red. Why?

"Because there is as much potential harm in kissing a boy as there is potential harm in human nature. How bad can you be? Do you know? True, dad is an old hand at the business. He has been kissing mother for years: but that’s the point it is mother whom he has kissed. There was a first kiss between mother and dad, probably the kiss which decided dad to give mother his name, his heart, and his life.

"As far as the girl is concerned, in truth, there may be little harm in a kiss because usually a girl is less tempted than a boy. But a kiss that leaves her unmoved may be a mortal sin for him, and a portion of the guilt of that mortal sin will be hers because she permitted the kiss. None of the guilt is hers if the boy without the least encouragement has taken the kiss by force, but a decent boy seldom does this.

Therefore the degree of ‘harm’ in a kiss must be measured by the circumstance - under the chandelier or behind the honeysuckle vine. As Father Furfey points out in his book, "This Way to Heaven," a kiss ‘may be anything from a beautiful act of supernatural charity to a mortal sin of impurity.’ It is questionable if a kiss delivered behind the honeysuckle vine is likely to be a ‘beautiful act of supernatural charity’.

"God has endowed our sense of touch with certain pleasant reactions. Why? So that within the bonds of matrimony, a man and a woman will unite, ‘two in one flesh’ for the procreation of children. Within the bonds of matrimony a kiss, a caress are essential preliminaries to this complete union of man and wife. Outside the bonds of matrimony a kiss, a caress are just as appealing to the senses, but in this circumstance physical union is a mortal sin."

And in the concluding chapter of this excellent book the gifted author has these practical remarks:

Quote:

"When I suggest you refuse advances in the interest of being popular and sought after by the right kind of boys, I am remembering my ‘dates.’ Memory insists it is true that if you are ‘hard to get’ you will be sought by the kind of boys you want to know. Of all the young men who ‘dated’ me only one kissed me of my own free will. That one I married.

"If and when the others took a kiss contrary to my will — boys will do that - they had dated me for the last time. It was much more pleasant to spend an evening at home with my mother or with a good book than spend hours on a ‘date’ with a boy who refused to understand that ‘No’ meant ‘No!’ Memory serves me well on this point.

"Nor did I stand by this moral principle just because these words are found in the dictionary. Far from it. These were guns which mother said were worth defending and I believed she knew what she was talking about. Who could know better than mother about such things?

"Every age has its superficialities, but fundamentally I do not believe the girls of today are any different from the girls of my teen days. Human nature does not change, nor do the divine and natural moral laws change from age to age."

Nihil Obstat:

BERNARD O’CONNOR,

Diocesan Censor.

Imprimatur:

J. R. KNOX,

Archbishop of Melbourne.

20th March, 1968.

Don't Blame Culture, Blame Yourself

2007-07-27T09:30:00.003+08:00

It's easy to blame culture for the problems of the human soul. Blame the media for peddling bling and bodies over art and truth. Blame the radio for playing evil rock and saccharine pop that gets stuck in your head and dumbs you down. Blame the movies for creating a culture of crazed sex and mad violence. We could play the blame game forever, because culture is quite messy.

But let's not forget that culture is what we've made it. Think about culture in the scientific context, and it has to do with creating the environment for a particular organism to survive. When you create a culture of bacteria, for example, you make sure that conditions will be favorable for said culture to exist and thrive. You create an environment in which culture can survive.

Now to the world's culture. It is not eternal, and it didn't spontaneously generate. It exists because we've made our hearts the environment in which it can survive. Our desires and appetites create an illicit culture. Humanity, and even people in the Church, have made the world an environment in which the culture of self addiction can thrive. When self is exalted above all, things go haywire. Sex, violence, lust for power, greed -- these are the born out of self addiction, self obsession.

So next time you feel the depravity of sin, or of the flesh, don't point the blame outward first. Sure, turn off the television, computer or whatever is the vehicle for your temptation. But before you blame the television, or the Internet, or the billboards, or the radio, interrogate and deal with the criminal who created the environment for the culture to survive in. We create the environment in which culture survives.

What culture will you allow to survive? Which culture will you decide to put an end to?

"It's from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, lies, and cussing. That's what pollutes." Matthew 15:19-20, The Message

Believing in God Isn't Good Enough

2007-07-27T09:30:00.001+08:00

There's a difference between believing in Jesus
And following Him
The believing bit is the easy part
Well, the easier part
But the following bit is where I mess up the most
I think we all tend to...

I was thinking about the Israelites in the Old Testament. They thought they were wandering lost for decades. When they got to the promised land, they were pretty convinced they had found what they were looking for. But as we read in the Bible, in the promised land, they got more lost than ever, forgetting God and committing serious evils. Back in the wilderness, they weren't quite as lost. Sure, they had no homeland to call their own. There was no temple, no monarchy, no permanent housing. But they were constantly following where God was leading: a pillar of cloud by day, a pillar of fire by night. No matter how absurd it might have seemed, following God was their only hope for existence.

When we think we've got it made, that's when we've lost it. When we're desperately trying to follow God -- even when direction seems blurry -- that's when we're on the right track. The important bit is following. Not just a passive belief in God's existence, or even in His worthiness to be praised. There's more to faith than that. Following is about knowing Jesus and tailoring our life after how He lived. That's what Christianity is: following Jesus (see Luke 9:23). Following is where the Church gets it right.

On the flipside, following -- rather, refusing to -- is what has caused people to give up on Jesus, too. I've been around long enough to know that people do walk away. From the Church, from community, from a covenant they made to God, from a conviction they once upheld. Seldom does anyone ever really walk away from belief in God. They retain their belief, but cease to follow. Newsflash: not following is walking away from God.

With all the professing Christians in the world, you'd think we would make a bigger impact for justice and goodness. But there's an anomaly somewhere. And I think it lies at the intersection of belief and following. Believers rarely make an impact. Followers are a force to be reckoned with.

It's no big deal to believe in God
The Devil believes in God, for crying out loud
The big deal is following Him.

We Were Teenagers Figuring Out the World

2007-07-27T09:27:00.002+08:00

We've got this built in desire to figure things out.

When my friends and I were in early high school we started getting into music and poetry. Deciphering deep song lyrics and coming up with our own flowery descriptions of life situations were among our pastimes. We were aspiring teenage beat-poets, deep in our brooding over the misery and anguish of middle class urban life. And for all the criticism that should accompany that reality, the ironic thing is that it was just that: reality. For all the artifice that teenagers get lost in, it's a 100% true experience for us at the moment of happening. And that's the cool thing about teenage life: it's all you've got. What you're going through is the world to you. That makes it significant. And it makes it essential to figure out the world.

The guys and I would go through our CDs, the post-grunge, mid-alternative, pre-acoustic revival, coffee-drinker music. I think I started liking coffee because it complemented music with its rustic scent, and only later appreciated the taste. We would study lyrical structure, and subtexts, and bring up different songs as the object of debate. At the end of it all, it didn't matter if we nailed the deeper meaning of the lyrics. We continued to appreciate the songs, regardless of our conclusion. What made life meaningful, enjoyable -- and sometimes, bearable -- was going through the experience with others.

One thing that doesn't change after teenage life is the desire to figure life out. We adults seem to be better at accepting life's givens, post-21. But the truth is, everyone, in some way or another, struggles to find direction. It's a daily thing. It's a momentary thing.

I wonder if it's too daring to say that we don't need to figure it all out. There's this Psalm where David says God's Word is like a lamp to his feet, a guide to keep him from stumbling. It's not some raging inferno, or stadium floodlight that gives crisp definition to what was once obscure. It's a lamp. It gives you just enough vision to get your bearing straight, walk on and leave the rest up to faith, trust.

I find it interesting that God's Word isn't some crystal ball that tells the future with certainty. I think that's the difference between Christianity and the pervading culture of spirituality in the world at large. People want complete certainty and assurance -- not faith. Anything that gets them some answers ASAP. But faith presupposes that you don't have things figured out, that you need Someone who does. Faith is the both the bane and solution of our trust issues.

I'm learning to take comfort in not figuring everything out. But I hold fast to God. I cling to His Word. And I journey with people -- friends, community -- who make the process of figuring things out comforting, when the world sees it as a burden. May we grow to trust God, His Word, and His people.

We were teenagers trying to figure out the world. And in many ways, we still are.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Psalm 119:105 (NIV

Debate about a Trinitarian God

2007-07-27T09:27:00.001+08:00

An interesting debate between a Muslim trying to understand the concept of a Trinitarian God! J Too LONG to post.

http://www.friendster.com/group-discussion/index.php?t=msg&th=231742&start=0&

Virginity Is Higher Than Matrimony

2007-06-24T02:36:00.001+08:00

In the immoral ambience of our days, it is opportune for Catholics to read the praises St. John Crysostom makes of those who choose virginity as a state of life. He compares virginity with the state of matrimony, to conclude that the former is higher. Interesting enough, the great Saint does not necessarily identify the state of virginity with the priesthood or religious state, as some Traditionalists wrongly do.

St. John Chrysostom

As you do, I also think that virginity is a good thing, better than the nuptial life. I add that it is as superior to the nuptial life as Heaven is superior to earth, or as Angels to men.

Since the Angels are not made of flesh and blood, for them there is no conjugal life. Since they do not live on earth, they are not subject to the disorders of passions and pleasures; they do not need to eat or drink; they are not attracted by a melodious music, a captivating song or a remarkable beauty, finally, they cannot be conquered by any type of softness.

Man, however, even though he is inferior to the angelic spirits, zealously and carefully seeks to be as much like them as he can. How does he do so?

Angels do not marry, neither does the virgin man. Angels live before God always at His service; so does the virgin man. Human nature, which bears the weight of the body, cannot ascend to Heaven as the Angels do; however, to compensate such deficiency, man has the greatest possible consolation, that is, by living pure of body and soul, he can receive and posses in the Eucharist the King of Heaven.

Can't you see all the excellence of virginity? Can't you see how it transforms those who still live clothed in this flesh and makes them equal to Angels?

Tell me in what point are those great lovers of virginity, Elias, Eliseus and St. John, different from Angels? In almost nothing. Only in this, that they are Angels in a mortal nature. Regarding the rest, anyone who analyzes them carefully sees that they deserve the same esteem as the angelic spirits. Further, because their condition is far inferior to the Angels, their merit is the greater. For because of their mortal nature, only with much violence and great effort could they attain such an eminent degree of virtue. See how much courage they had and the type of life they lived.

(St. John Chrysostom , Book of Virginity, apud Roman Breviary,

lesson 3 of the feast of St. Aloysius Gonzaga).

Never Doubt the Word of God

2007-06-24T02:28:00.000+08:00

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):

" Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever

a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

Here are some men and women who mocked God:

JOHN LENNON:

Some years before during his interview with an

American Magazine, he said:

"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not

have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was

ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are

more famous than Him" (1966)".

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more

famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

TANCREDO NEVES:

During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got

500 votes from his party, not even God would remove

him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he

got sick a day before being made President, then he

died.

CAZUZA:

During a show in Canecão ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst

smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into

the air and said: God, that's for you.

I can't even explain how he died.

THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:

After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked

him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic

tone he said: "Not even God can sink it"

The result: I think you all know what happened to

the Titanic.

MARILYN MONROE:She was visited by Billy Graham during a

presentation of a show. He is a preacher and

Evangelist and the Spirit of God had sent him to

preach to her.

After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she

said:

"I don't need your Jesus"

A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.

BON SCOTT:The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979

songs he sang:

"Don´t stop me, I´m going down all the way, wow the

highway to

hell".

On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found

dead, he had been choked by his vomit.

CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005

In Campinas, a group of friends, drunk, went to pick

up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car

and was so worried about the drunkenness of her

friends and she said to the daughter - holding her

hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY

DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU",

She responded: ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT,

COZ INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL"

Hours later, news came by that they had been

involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the

car could not be recognized what type of car it had

been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact.

The police said there was no way the boot could have

remained intact. To their surprise, inside the boot

was a crate of eggs, none was broken.

Many more important people have forgotten that there

is no other name that was given so much authority as

the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus

died and rose again, and he is still alive. JESUS!!!

P.S: If it was a joke, you could have sent it to

everyone. So are you going to have courage to send

this?.

I have done my part, Jesus said "If you get

embarrassed about me, I will also get

embarrassed about you before my father

What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole

world but loses his soul?

What can man give in exchange of his soul? (Mathew

16:26).

Regarding purgatory

2007-06-24T02:27:00.004+08:00

Is there a verse in the Bible that clearly stated this term? Or is this term UNBIBLICAL?

Firstly, you assume that something needs to be in the bible before it is an article of faith. This is a protestant error. The bible never claims to be the sole authority on the faith. Christ left us a visible church-the Roman Catholic church to guide us. He did not leave a bible. He charged the apostles to PREACH the Gospel to all nations-not WRITE. The bible as we know it only came into being when the ecumenical council of catholic bishops and the pope at the Council of Carthage in 398AD pronounced that the 73 books were inspired by the Holy Ghost. From 398AD to around 1500's, the bible was not widely available, due to prohibitive costs of printing and a largely illiterate population. Therefore, if the bible was the sole guide to faith and salvation, millions of souls would have lost the faith for 15 centuries!

Even if something is not in the bible, as long as it is a dogma taught by the Catholic church, it is true. For Christ built His church on Peter the Rock, the first Catholic pope, and charged him to feed His sheep-the CAtholic faithful. Also, because it was the Catholic church who gave us the bible in 398AD, she is the mother of the child, and only she is the guardian of the bible. If she says there is a purgatory, we must believe her, because Christ left her to guide us.

Now, having said that, the bible DOES refer to a place of purification of the dead, and tells us to pray for them. Only, it does not use the word PURGATORY, but rather it describes the place. Go to http://scripturecatholic.com/purgatory.html and http://www.fisheaters.com/purgatory.htmlfor more biblical references to purgatory.

Matt. 12:32 – Jesus says, “And anyone who says a word against the Son of man will be forgiven; but no one who speaks against the Holy Spirit will be forgiven either in this world or in the next.” Jesus thus clearly provides that there is forgiveness after death. The phrase “in the next” (from the Greek “en to mellonti”) generally refers to the afterlife (see, for example, Mark 10.30; Luke 18.30; 20.34-35; Eph. 1.21 for similar language). Forgiveness is not necessary in heaven, and there is no forgiveness in hell. This proves that there is another state after death, and the Church for 2,000 years has called this state purgatory.

2 Macc. 12:43-45 - the prayers for the dead help free them from sin and help them to the reward of heaven. Those in heaven have no sin, and those in hell can no longer be freed from sin. They are in purgatory. Luther was particularly troubled with these verses because he rejected the age-old teaching of purgatory. As a result, he removed Maccabees from the canon of the Bible.

Heb. 12:23 - the spirits of just men who died in godliness are "made" perfect. They do not necessarily arrive perfect. They are made perfect after their death. But those in heaven are already perfect, and those in hell can no longer be made perfect. These spirits are in purgatory.

1 Cor. 3:10-15 - works are judged after death and tested by fire. Some works are lost, but the person is still saved. Paul is referring to the state of purgation called purgatory. The venial sins (bad works) that were committed are burned up after death, but the person is still brought to salvation. This state after death cannot be heaven (no one with venial sins is present) or hell (there is no forgiveness and salvation).

Zech. 13:8-9 - God says 2/3 shall perish, and 1/3 shall be left alive, put into the fire, and refined like silver and tested like gold. The ones that perish go to hell, and there is no need for refinement in heaven, so those being refined are in purgatory.

Regarding the name of the Church

2007-06-24T02:27:00.003+08:00

Is there any verse in the Bible that states that the name of the true church is Holy Roman Catholic Church? Because this is very important for us to know which is the true religion.

It is quite simple to find out which is the church which Christ left us.

1. Christ came 2000 years ago. The only church 2000 years old is the Roman Catholic Church. All other churches are only about 500 years old, starting with the Lutheran church in 1500's.

2. In the bible, Christ built the church on Peter, the Rock.

Matthew 16:15-19 "And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter (kepha, translated into Koine Greek as "petros" meaning "rock" and into English as "Peter"),and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."

Here, Christ changes Peter's name from Simon to Peter, to call him Rock. Christ gave Peter the power of binding and loosing, what we call the Keys to the Kingdom of heaven, or, the Power of the Keys. He gave PRIMACY to Peter, and made Peter the first pope. Only the CAtholic church has popes, and all its popes can trace their ancestry to the first pope through apostolic succession.

3. One way to see which church is the Church that Christ left us to to compare the teachings of a current church with the teachings of the first christians of the 1st-3rd centuries. The first christians believed in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, practiced devotions to the Blessed Virgin Mary and the saints, venerated relics and holy images, had priests, bishops who were ordained in specific rites, who offered the mass, taught that confession to a priest is necessary etc. Many early church fathers such as St Ausgustine, St Cyril, St Jerome writes about these beliefs. The only church which still teaches the same things as the first christians is the Roman Catholic Church.

4. Just because something is not in the bible, doesn't mean that it isn;t true. For the words abortion, homosexuality, the Trinity are not present in the bible, but are called by different names.

5. The first christians didn't call themselves catholic, because all were taught the same doctrines. The name Catholic only came into being when there were heresies and errors taught by heretics-and so, to distinguish between the true christians and the heretical sects, the name catholic came into being. Catholic comes from the Greek word Katolikos, meaning Universal.

Therefore, the only True Church left by Christ is the Roman Catholic Church.

The Priesthood and the Issue of Celibacy

2007-06-24T02:27:00.001+08:00

A priest is an alter Christus-another Christ. As such, a priest must be chaste, as Christ was chaste. He must strive to be all that Christ was.

About the ancient practice of married priest, it concerned only cases where a married man wanted to enter the priesthood after he was married. But it was never allowed that a priest who entered the priesthood single got married after entering the priesthood. Dear Christian, it is inaccurate to say that there were married priests in the middle ages. More accurately, there were married priests during the first few hundred years A.D. The practice died out before the Middle Ages. Anyway, it was an exception to the rule, not the norm.

Imagine a priest who had a wife. Do you think that the seal of confession could be kept if he had a wife who kept asking inquisitive questions? No. It is wise for a religious not to have a family, as St Paul teaches. A man who chooses that life must sacrifice his chance to have a family. He enters the priesthood with this knowledge-no one forces him. So he has no right to demand that he be allowed to get married.

May, a woman may not be a priest because Christ cannot be represented by a woman. All the 12 apostles were men. If a woman was eligible, don't you think that He would have chosen His Mother? The equivalent of a male nun would be a monk. God made man and woman for different roles, different temperaments, different abilities, and different roles. The role of a woman can never be that of a priest. But her role is great-she may bring up a future priest, bishop, even pope!

Ten Guidelines from God

2007-06-24T02:24:00.000+08:00

Effective Immediately,

please be aware that there are changes YOU need

to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be

completed in order that I may fulfill My promises

to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in

this life. I apologize for any inconvenience,

but after all that I am doing, this seems very

little to ask of you. Please, follow

these 10 guidelines

1. QUIT WORRYING:

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit

and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here

to take all your burdens and carry them for you?

Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little

thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:

Something needs done or taken care of. Put it

on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY

to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care

of the problem. I can't help you until you turn

it over to Me. And although My to-do-list

is long, I am after all... God. I can take care

of anything you put into My hands. In fact,

if the truth were ever really known, I take

care of a lot of things for you that you never

even realize.

3. TRUST ME:

Once you've given your burdens to Me,

quit trying to take them back. Trust in

Me. Have the faith that I will take care of

all your needs, your problems and your trials.

Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.

Problem with finances? Put it on My list.

Problems with your emotional roller coaster ?

For My sake, put it on My list. I want to

help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:

Don't wake up one morning and say,

"Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think

I can handle it from here." Why do you think

you are feeling stronger now? It's simple.

You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking

care of them. I also renew your strength

and cover you in my peace. Don't you

know that if I give you these problems back,

you will be right back where you started?

Leave them with Me and forget about

them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:

I want you to forget a lot of things.

Forget what was making you crazy.

Forget the worry and the fretting because

you know I'm in control. But there's one

thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't

forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!

I want to hear your voice. I want you to

include Me in on the things going on in your life.

I want to hear you talk about your friends

and family. Prayer is simply you having

a conversation with Me. I want to be your

dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:

I see a lot of things from up here that you

can't see from where you are. Have faith in

Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;

you wouldn't want the view from My eyes.

I will continue to care for you, watch over you,

and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.

Although I have a much bigger task than you,

it seems as if you have so much trouble just

doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:

You were taught to share when you were

only two years old. When did you forget?

That rule still applies. Share with those who are

less fortunate than you. Share your joy with

those who need encouragement. Share your

laughter with those who haven't heard any in

such a long time. Share your tears with those

who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith

with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime

you could have so many diverse experiences.

You grow from a child to an adult, have children,

change jobs many times, learn many trades,

travel to so many places, meet thousands

of people, and experience so much. How can

you be so impatient then when it takes Me

a little longer than you expect to handle

something on My to-do-list? Trust in My

timing, for My timing is perfect. Just

because I created the entire universe in

only six days, everyone thinks I should

always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:

Be kind to others, for I love them just

as much as I love you. They may not dress

like you, or talk like you, or live the same way

you do, but I still love you all. Please try

to get along, for My sake. I created each

of you different in some way. It would be

too boring if you were all identical.

Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:

As much as I love you, how can you not

love yourself? You were created by me for

one reason only -- to be loved, and to love

in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.

Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.

It makes My heart ache when I see you

so angry with yourself when things go

wrong. You are very precious to me.

Don't ever forget......

From God..

Note: I rec'd this from a friend and I have

no idea who wrote it, but I was so touched

by it, that I had to share it with you.

I hope that you will be blessed by

it and will share it with others.

Touch someone with your love.

Rather than focus upon the thorns of life,

smell the roses and count your blessings!

Realizations of the Self-Obsessed

2007-05-22T20:43:00.000+08:00

A lot of us get disillusioned with the Church because it fails to give what we desire. We feel that if something isn't meeting our need or measuring up to our concept of what the Church should be, then it's fine to jump ship or taper off our commitment. I'll be the first to admit this mentality. Having grown up steeped in "Christian World", at some point I wanted out. Christian living, community life and rule-abiding weren't holding up to their end of the bargain, that if I mentally agreed to particular tenets about God, He'd give me everything I wanted. I was dying spiritually.

But I came alive when I offered myself in service. When I stopped focusing on what I could get out of the deal and focused on what I could give unconditionally. The problem wasn't that I wasn't getting anything out of the Church; it was that I wasn't giving of myself to the world through the Church. It turns out that receiving isn't what makes you live; it's giving.

Once, I was listening to a radio interview with Joel Houston from Hillsong United. He made a point that people get into the Church because they get something out of it. But we should be focused on what we can offer in service. Today, I was reading an article by Shane Claiborne, proponent of new monasticism and founder of The Simple Way. He said, "God didn’t create a world of scarcity. But we’ve created poverty and need by not living out this command to love our neighbor as ourself."

One key point I want to make is that we recognize the world is in need, but we are still more obsessed with receiving than giving. It doesn't make sense, because we have so much to give.

Last night at Elim Singles, Barbie made a beautiful point that the world is at its best when people give; it is at its worst when people don't. That statement reaches deep -- into poverty, economics, justice and the most simple of human relationships. And it's not just about giving money. If we really cared about the world's need -- the need for God, for justice, for peace -- we would quit whining about problems and just get out there and offer ourselves in service. It's not complicated.

Firebrand preacher Jentezen Franklin once said that the Gospel is simple: find the hurt and heal it. Furthermore, Dorothy Day of the Catholic Worker Movement said, “The best thing to do with the best things of life is to give them away.”

I know these are largely random points on the idea of giving, and not a well-made argument or anything. But let's quit making alibis. Stop focusing on our needs. We probably have all we need. And if not, the pursuit of God assures that our needs will be met. But let's get that point straight: the pursuit of God and His will is manifest in how we serve others, in how we give of ourselves.

So, as young Christians with so much to give, let's look at the world and see what we can give, thinking less on what we can get out of things.

Everybody Checks Themself Out

2007-05-22T20:09:00.000+08:00

Life Was Simpler With Film
So the photographer snaps the group shot, and the people who just had their impromptu -- but nevertheless, highly-posed -- photo taken move out of their frozen positions. "Lemme see!" say an eager few. This is when people check themselves out, crowding around the little digital monitor of the camera as if it were a panoramic widescreen. Of course, there are those who couldn't care less how they looked in photos. And then there are those who pretend they couldn't care less. These people are my favorites because I think this is where I fit in, at least some of the time. As the eager self-checkers crowd around the camera, the closet self-checkers feign disinterest. They shift their eyes to and from the camera congregation, orbiting the vicinity at a comfortable enough distance within eye-shot, to ensure that they indeed looked good in the photo.

When someone thinks the photo taken is sub-par, they comment that another shot is in order, and the group must converge again for a re-shoot. Of course, this doesn't mean that the shot taken was bad at all. It simply means that the commenter deemed themself unattractive in said shot. Thus, the criteria for whether or not a photo taken is a good one is whether or not I looked good. It could be the most beautiful photo on earth, but if I thought I looked ugly in it, I'd want to do it again.

Parable Explained
I think this makes a fitting parable for the way we can be about the world. Our criteria for a good world is if we've got it all together. No matter how bad the world has it, we tend to focus on our own comfort and make that the priority. And on the flipside, when our world is going down the toilet, no matter how beautiful the rest of the world is, all is hell to us if our world isn't the way we want it to be - forget that God is good!

This is because the world's culture tends to over-emphasize my own well-being above all. The focus of most of my energy is making sure my academics, my career, my future, my plans, my luxuries, and so on, happen according to my idea of what a good life should be. If I look and feel fine in the picture, that's good enough for me. Regardless of what the rest of it looks like. Regardless of the big picture.

Celebrate and Clean Up The Beautiful Mess
But the truth is, at the times we get wrapped up in our exclusive pursuit of happiness, we need to remember that there is a world in need of what we have to offer: spiritually, physically, intellectually, materially. There is more than just our corner of the big picture, and we cannot overlook the responsibility. And then at other times, we get so wrapped up in our own little crises and failings and fail to see the world as anything more than bleak, dark and cold. It is at these times that we fail to see the beauty that must be celebrated.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that on this side of eternity, the world is a beautiful mess, filled with good and bad, existing in one place called the world. It's our job to open our eyes to the bigger picture, attempt to get a glimpse from the Creator's perspective. Then, we might acquire what it takes to celebrate the beauty and clean up the mess.

Practical stuff to consider: 1) Start doing more stuff for others: acts of kindness, zealous service in your community, give more to the poor, etc -- anything that will get your vision off yourself. Chances are you give yourself enough attention. 2) When life is bleak, remember that God is still good and there is always something to celebrate somewhere in the big picture.

Personal Development Event.

2007-04-28T17:42:00.000+08:00

Date: April 29, Sunday
Place: Kristus Aman Chapel
Time: 11.30 am (after mass)

it's something about business. being a businessman or something. cant remember what the name of the event was exactly cos i deleted the text. :P

If You Could Have A Superpower, What Would You Choose?

2007-04-20T07:56:00.000+08:00

If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? I think about this sometimes, and it's a toss-up between flight and super strength. I wonder how I would find out about my ability, if it would be an instant surprise, a gradual discovery, or if it would be the most natural thing in the world. It's the classic superhero dilemma, to struggle with the discovery of your power. One day, you are an ordinary guy; but then your abilities begin to develop and you start to realize that there's more to you than what you once thought. The questions in your mind become different from the usual. Am I really "super"? Why do I have this ability? What am I to do with this newfangled discovery? And what am I to wear? It's the stuff of television shows.

The reason I talk about super-ability is because of Easter, which we celebrate all the way until Pentecost Sunday. When Jesus rose from the dead, it was the power of God at work, liberating us from hell, destruction, sin and death. And that power is what Paul calls "the immeasurable greatness of (God's) power for us who believe" (Eph 1:19). Immeasurable power. God is awesome.

I'll level with everyone here. Sometimes, when I think of the Christian sort of spiritual power, I wonder if it is all it is made out to be, if being holy is as cool as having a superpower. Take, for example, flight and pit it against the virtue of piety. What's cooler? Off the bat, it's definitely flight. Telekinesis wins, too. And so does super strength. I draw out one virtue after another, and on a worldly scale, they lose to the best of any superpower. We humans might even take non-superpowers such as intelligence and physical ability over virtue, most times.

But that's the thing. It's on a worldly, earthly and ultimately finite scale.

The significance of Easter is that we can be all God has created us to be now and in eternity. The same power that raised Christ from the dead is available to us. Of course we live in a broken reality, where we aren't perfect yet. But think of it as a superhero awakening to his ability slowly. You're honing the power, letting yourself be an agent of its innate goodness. You're learning how to wield it. You're discovering its significance. And one day, it's all gonna come together; and clad in spandex, you will be a full-fledged superhero.

In this world we're discovering who we are in Christ. "We see indistinctly as in a mirror" (1 Cor 13:12); but eventually it will all be clear. And those who lived lives of holiness will understand what it was all for in the light of eternity, which is far longer and more exciting than what this world has to offer.

God is awesome. Happy Easter everyone.

"I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power. God put this power to work in Christ when he raised him from the dead." Ephesians 1:17-20

You Probably Don't Need That

2007-04-08T16:25:00.002+08:00

I want to have a better attitude about needs and wants.

I don't think I need everything I say I do.

I don't need new clothes.
I don't need that cellphone.
And though it pains me to say this, I don't need another guitar.
I don't need another guitar pedal.
When you think about it, nobody really needs a guitar at all.
I know. Rock and roll sacrilege. But it's not a need.
Neither is sports.
Or deodorant.
Although many people would debate that last one.

Don't get me wrong, having wants isn't wrong in itself. Having conveniences and pleasures isn't bad all the time. In fact it's often very good. Imagine life without music, for example? All I'm talking about is making a distinction and having the right attitude about material things. Because attitude is a big deal.

Starving Masses in Africa
We all know the line: "Finish your food! Don't you know that there are starving masses in Africa who don't have food?!" Every parent has said it to their kids at some point. And if they haven't, they will. It's written somewhere in the Secret Parenting Manual under "How To Send Your Kids on a Guilt Trip". Every kid sarcastically wonders how their leftovers can solve the problem of mass starvation, not realizing that the point is not the food. It's the attitude.

If kids can have the right attitude about food, without their realizing it, they will become better stewards of things. Their impulses will be in check, and they won't bite off more than they can chew, figuratively and literally.

It's the same for us. If we have an attitude that we don't have everything we need, we will make needs our priority. Since I supposedly "need" a better cellphone, that will be a priority. Since I supposedly "need" more clothes, shopping will be my priority. And at the end of the day, we spend so much time and energy on ourselves, thinking we sit high on the priority list because we've mistaken wants for needs, when the world has so many needs. And the love of God impels us, throws us out into the world and demands that we get over ourselves and start focusing on serving others.

You're Rich
A need is something essential to survival: food and water, shelter and clothing are such essentials. If you have these, you have what you need. If you have these in abundance, you have more than enough, which is good. And if you have all that and a lot more, you're rich. The mere fact that I can afford to type this entry on a computer, and you can afford to read it tells that we probably sit comfortably among the richer people on planet earth. My full closet, the large appliance-filled house I live in, the car I drive, my musical gear, my multiple pairs of shoes -- these tell me I am rich. And while there may be a lot of people who have more than I do, there are far more billions who have far, far less.

So is this a guilt-trip, like the "starving masses in Africa" line? Well, that's not the intention. But I want to change the way I see the world, and maybe help spark a change in others. If we realize we already have more than we need, we'll be more free to be used by God to meet the needs of others.

Our Laughter Says More Than We're Willing To Admit

2007-04-08T16:25:00.001+08:00

What we laugh about speaks of our values. I've been getting a deep conviciton about this, recently. And so I write as one learning the lesson, rather than one giving it.

Some friends told me about how a visiting foreign dignitary was annoyed when people laughed when he commented about the ill state of Philippine poverty, as if they treated the issue lightly. Why people found his comment worth laughing about isn't my point; it's that laughter struck a sensitive chord. Otherwise the dude wouldn't have been irritated.

Our laughter says more than we're willing to admit.

I sat in an auditorium recently and a priest was giving a good talk, save for a joke that made light of womens' body parts. Many in the crowd -- made up of committed charismatic Catholics -- laughed with him. I thought they felt permitted to do so because he was a priest. But it struck me that even among "committed" Christians, we've given in to treating holy things such as the human body lightly.

We don't give humor enough credit because it feels trivial to make such a big deal out of it. But society's condition is reflected in what its people find humorous. Laughter serves as an unguarded stamp of approval upon something said or done. It is very honest because when we laugh, we are often caught off-guard, startled into an impulse. Our true colors and honest pleasures show in our laughter.

When we laugh at others' shame, it goes to show what we think about their comfort or feelings; we consider their feelings worth taking lightly. Likewise, when we laugh about sexual impropriety, we unconsciously approve of levity in regards to sexuality, when we should consider sex sacred and of great importance. When we laugh at degrading jokes about peoples' body parts, figures and physical attributes, it goes to show how little we respect the human body and the great dignity God has given us, His image and likeness.

People who don't know me well might think that I'm being a serious prude, which couldn't be farther from the truth because I'm quite silly. I just think that we'd do well to think about what we find funny, and examine if its a symptom that we treat certain things with less respect or dignity than they deserve.

Laughter is social commentary. It is an impulse-driven stamp of approval. Like it or not, laughter is an honest expression of what we deem to be a light or weighty matter. Our laughter says more than we are willing to admit. Let's laugh about the right things.

Our mouths were filled with laughter; our tongues sang for joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The Lord had done great things for them." Psalm 126:2

On Masturbation, Drunkenness and Other Hot Topics

2007-04-08T16:20:00.000+08:00

Red lines. They marked off the outer limits of the school grounds. The places that were off limits. My childhood buddies and I were well versed in the psychological trickery being employed by The Man to suppress our juvenile longings for danger...and we would have no part in it. Well that's not really how it went. Being bad is just plain fun, and doing the wrong thing – well it can feel strangely right. Even seven year-olds know this.

Our school sat atop a hill. I remember a cold winter when we would spend our lunch breaks outside, beyond the red line, in an alley hidden in the imposing shadow of the gym. We sat our little rears on the icy cold concrete and listened to the wind howl through the dim passage, as we struggled between shivers and breaths of steam to wolf down our lunches lest they became popsicles. When I recall the scene, I find it a little depressing. Well-to-do children eating wind-chilled lunches in dark, gray alleyways: it's just not a pretty thought. But when I was young, it was heaven. It was heaven because it was wrong.

And we're not much different when we grow up, are we?

Q&A

I gave a talk on nation building at a high school some weeks ago. Come the open forum, one of the standout questions was "is getting drunk a sin?" Totally off topic, but I was glad to talk about it. Another time, I was giving a talk on sexuality at an exclusive high school for boys. An entire high school of boys. Talking about sex. Now you can imagine the wolf-howls, bear-growls and monkey noises that filled the hall those days. Did I mention it was two entire days of sessions? I could have sworn the testosterone had made the air thick with a sticky fog. Come Q&A time, it was eager questions about masturbation, pornography, pre-marital sex, oral sex, fornication -- the whole nine yards, no holds barred.

We are a generation that wants to know where the line of morality is. Regardless of where our consciences tell us we stand, we still want to hear the news, in the the hopes that the line has moved to accommodate as moral what was once not. Deep down, everyone wants to know, because everyone hungers for redemption. For the most part, I feel that we'd like to know where the line is so as to get as close as possible. Because life on the line feels exciting, and it's almost poetic how the prospect of wrong feels so pleasurable. It's the stuff of literature, films and indie music.

Dangerous

We've become a generation that likes to toe the line. We consider it dangerous because it feels like brinkmanship when you walk close to the edge of something. But this toeing the line, it couldn't be closer to safe. It's the epitome of saving your skin, not risking it. If right and wrong are divided by a line, standing on the line is as chicken as you can get; it's neither here nor there. It's afraid to not belong on either side. So we remain on the line and act like we're balancing on the edge of a cliff. But we're merely messing with a red line on a schoolyard.

I'll tell you what's dangerous: holiness. It's so dangerous that even Christians find it a fearsome thing. It'll earn you some derision and persecution. But holiness also makes you dangerous, a force to be reckoned with. People take you seriously; and when the going gets tough, they know you stand secure. That is what the world needs. Not a generation that's about as daring as a bunch of seven year-olds in the back alley of a schoolyard.

2007-03-31T15:20:00.000+08:00

PASSOVER MEAL TONIGHT, 7PM AT CHURCH.

Of forgiveness and dogs.

2007-03-07T18:30:00.000+08:00

Had a fight with your dad.
Friend insulted you.
Lover dumped you.
Someone abused you.
Or mugged you.

And so you feel like throwing a vase at the wall. Or beating up the wall. Or writing an angry song afterwhich you will slam your guitar on the wall. Then you could make a music video out of your life, to the tune of the latest emo hit sensation and be cool. Because pop culture has made angst and unforgiveness "cool" in a sense, hasn't it?

But then here comes the Gospel to ruin it. Jesus calls us to forgive.

Sissy Christian Forgiveness?
We tend to interpret the stuff Jesus talked about as cute little Christian teachings that are designed to make the world a better place. Cute little greeting card suggestions. Sigh. But if you look at the society of Jesus' day, the prevailing culture was this: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

So you can imagine the controversy of Jesus' statement. It wasn't some sissy little greeting card idea. It wasn't a wimpy reaction to conflict, by which one could divest of responsibility. It was a revolutionary ideal. It was a complete paradigm shift from the pervading culture.

Dogs on the Loose!
The Greek word for "forgive" means to "release" or "set free." I thought it was quite a beautiful idea. When I forgive someone, I let them loose. The image I had was of a professional dog-walker being pulled in every direction by seven foaming Rottweilers. Forgiveness is letting each of those Rottweilers free. Not that I think of people as dogs, but you get the point.

This means freedom for both me and them. Them because they are no longer my captive. In the case of people who have wronged me, they no longer "owe me." I set them free and no longer demand recompense or vindication. And then on the flipside, I release myself. I'm no longer dragged in every direction by those I wish to hold captive. Everybody gets free when forgiveness takes place. That explains the post-confessional lightness: it's freedom! Think about it.

You've probably been wronged. You're not unique. We all have, though to different degrees. And forgiveness is what it takes to be free. I'll admit that it's a challenge. One time, I realized I hadn't forgiven someone who had wronged me. When I saw my friends being nice them, I would feel bad and wish I could tell them what a jerk the person was! It was tough to truly forgive. But forgiveness sets our transgressors free. And it sets us free.

Set them free. And set yourself free. Forgive.

At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21-22

Fellowship Event!

2007-02-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

The Race of the Cross.

When? Sunday, the 4th of March. (THIS SUNDAY)

Where? Lembah Kiara Park, TTDI.

What time? 1.30pm-4.00pm.

Who? You! If you are a youth (Form 1 and up).

This is the 2nd youth event of the year. Don't miss out on it! It'll be lots of fun and some form of exercise I suppose which wouldn't do anyone any harm. :)

The committee advises that you bring along:

A cap or an umbrella (because it'll be hot)
Sunblock (really hot)
A friend
and a desire to race for God!

Comment if you have any questions and I'm sure Laila or Jacq will be more than happy to answer them.
See you then and God bless!

Random updates.

2007-02-04T22:22:00.000+08:00

One
Seong and Tasha say that you have to go visit them at their new house in Subang if you expect angpaos from them this Chinese New Year! :P

Two
I made a mistake in one of my last posts.

Nicole is head of Social Awareness
Nick Yeow is head of Personal Development
(I originally mixed the two up)

and there's a latest addition to the council,

Charlaine, as head of the Spiritual committee, taking over from Jacq. :)

Three
If you're free on Thursday night, Gifford would like help buying orange juice (or was it oranges) from Tesco for Chinese New Year at KA. Do let him know if you'd like to join him.

He needs help handing out oranges at CNY mass as well so please tell him if you're going for it.
Go la there's free oranges.

Four
The first youth event of the year is coming up this Saturday the 10th of Feb. It's by the Fellowship committee.

Hehe that's all I know so far. No details yettt.. because no one (hint hint Laila hint) has told me anything about it but keep yourself free and check back for more info. I suppose I'll have something to tell you once my hint's been taken. Teehee.

Have a good week!

We're Afraid

2007-02-01T12:11:00.000+08:00

Scared
If you ask me, I think there's a silent debate among Christians about whether it's alright to curse and swear or not. There's a silent debate about whether or not we should discourage drinking alcohol at all or simply encourage "moderation". There is a silent debate about what movies are permissible, and what movies tow the line. What music to listen to and what not to listen to. I say "silent" because it's as if people are afraid to draw the line, to make distinctions, to even talk about the issue. You risk having people not like you, for one!

Some people would argue that such issues are small and of less consequence than weightier matters such as changing systems and feeding the poor and stuff. While there is truth to that, I think it is a faulty mindset. You can't say that you will change the world when you draw a limit as to how much you will change, personally. We are part of the world, thus, changing the world includes us changing, too.

Basic
It all feels very complicated to understand. But it really isn't. It's about holiness. The big questions we need to ask are not about dos and don'ts. The big question we are to ask with every decision is, "is this a part of the lifestyle of a holy person?"

You can't be a Christian and not be holy.
We are the body of Christ.
Christ is holy.
Therefore, we are holy.
Basic.

Already Are
It's not that we should be holy. It's not that we will be holy. It's not that we should desire to be holy. If you are a part of the Body of Christ, if you claim the title "Catholic" or "Christian", if you are a person of faith, you already are holy. Right here, right now. Your current state of being is holy. Your aspirations for life reflect holiness. Your lifestyle choices reflect holiness. Your speech reflects holiness. What you laugh about and like to talk about reflects holiness. There is no other way to be a Christian.

Holiness does not mean becoming monastics or joining the cloister. It doesn't mean speaking in Bible verses. It doesn't mean perfection, right here and right now. It means pursuing the perfect ideal: Jesus. Part of holiness is an understanding that the system and ways of the world are not my system, not my way. I will live differently. I will not be evangelized by the system. Instead, I will live the revolution.

Let's not turn a deaf ear to holiness. Be not afraid. Be holy. Be what you claim to be: a part of the Body of Christ. Holy. Holy people have the Holy Spirit in them. And the Holy Spirit changes the world. If you want to change the world, you will live holy.

Sent in by Gifford.
What are your views on this article?
Oh and if you'd like me to put anything up here just mail it to me or something k. Like you know touching emails and stuff. :)

2007-01-25T12:46:00.001+08:00

Please pray for Jonathan's grandmother, Elsie. She suffered another heart attack and is close to death..

2007-01-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

CCC tonight, as usual. 8.30pm at Uncle Bob's house.

Topic for today: The 8th commandment, thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.

New council people!

2007-01-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

So I've been informed that Nicole is the new head of the Personal Development committee and Nick Yeow the new head of Social Awareness.

Congrats! :)

I suppose they'll be needing members so do volunteer if you're interested!

Faith.

2007-01-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

Gifford wants to share this article with us:

One day, Jesus talked about eating His flesh and drinking his blood. This was a freaky and disgusting idea, to say the least; and it caused a mess. For the Jewish audience that He spoke to, it was customary that certain animals were unfit for eating. So needless to say, human flesh wasn't on the menu, either. I can just imagine what the dissenters were muttering to each other under their breath: "That Jesus dude wants us to eat his flesh and drink his blood? Quick, let's get outta here!" It didn't make sense for non-vampires and non-cannibals! And so, many of Jesus' followers left Him and returned to their former way of life.

Jesus proposes a lot of uncomfortable ideas. And so, a lot of people will keep a safe distance for one reason or another. Close association with Jesus is cheesy, controversial, weird, uncool, choose your own label. Forget that what He teaches is revolutionary and world-changing. Forget that those who have followed His example have impacted the world immensely. Forget about salvation and redemption and actually living for something other than yourself. If I can't get my mind around this difficult thing God requires of me, I'm walking away.

And I don't mean literally walking away from Church or your community. I think that a lot of people within the Church and religious communities have already abandoned Christ by choosing to not be associated with Him and the lifestyle He calls us to live. And by lifestyle, I don't just mean "not getting drunk, doing drugs and having premarital sex." We abandon Him by being selective about what we will follow. Because it's far easier to wear the Catholic/Christian label and act like we're doing alright, than actually try to live like Jesus did and do what He said.

I wish we'd understand this about faith: you won't understand everything. The very nature of faith is that you don't understand everything about that which you believe in. The very reason you need faith is that you don't get it. I mean, who really understands everything about God? Who really understands everything about the world? Having faith presupposes that I don't understand everything, and I don't need to. All I need to know is that Jesus is God, and I've got to follow what He's saying.

If the "walkers" had stuck around they might have understood the beauty of it all. But they didn't. And today, we're left with a challenge: when it gets difficult, will I walk away? Or will I have the faith to stick around and walk on?

Then many of the disciples who were listening said, "This saying is hard; who can accept it?"... As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him.
John 6:60, 66

2007-01-15T19:05:00.001+08:00

Cathechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) meeting tonight at Uncle Bob's house. 8.30PM.

2007-01-14T18:47:00.000+08:00

PRAYERS, tonight at church, 9pm.

They're on every Sunday do go!

Hello all.

2007-01-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

New blog because I don't know how to work Multiply and I'm too lazy to learn. The old KAYM official blog is this one, I think and I'm supposed to be updating that but I doubt I will be cos I'm just more used to Blogger and I prefer using it. It looks like someone's still working that one though.. cos there's a review on Night at the Museum there and that's just been released right so it must be recent so hehe good la.

I watched it twice just mentioning. :P Slept through the first half of it the second time round but I still like it anyway. Owen Wilson and that Around the World in 80 Days guy, I love them. Steve Coogan haha I just googled it. Had no idea that was his name. I expected it to be something more familiar.

I know this blog still is very empty. Working on it there's still lotsa stuff to put up. Give suggestions if you'd like. :) Much appreciated.

Anyway a bit of introduction. :) I'm Jocelyn. People call me Jox/Joxer/Joxie/Joce/Jocey. I even get Joyce but I don't really like that one. I'm 18 in 5 days ;) :D and I've just started doing the ACCA program at Sunway UC. It's an accounting course. I've been in the youth for about 3 years I think. Urr I like food.

PROSPERITY BURGER!!!

Can you believe I only tried it this year? :P A friend made me after insisting that it was the best burger in the world. Love it. Mmm. I take out the onions though if there are too many. Love the Twister Fries (always have) and OrangeMcFizz too.

Apart from food I like movies. Lame comedies.. haha some hate them, I love them. Lame things make me laugh somehow. I like movies I can cry to. :P Basically I'd watch anything but I prefer movies with romance, comedy, horror and inspirational storylines. And stuff about other worlds (LOTR, HP, etc). Don't really like action too much. The only movies I wouldn't watch are stuff like Cicakman omg.. and that Rempit show whatever it is. Oh also like those Korean horror movies.. I've given up on them cos they always seem so pointless and gay.

Okay the first council meeting was last Sunday, the 7th of Jan. A council meeting is where the exco and the committees all get together to discuss errr stuff. Youth issues and plans and the like. We've got a new President, Gifford, replacing Dhayang who's held the post for 2 years. Vice is still Noel, treasurer still Christobel, new secretary and assistant, Clement and my sister ahahahahah Sandra.

Yeah their huge faces are all on the sidebar. I don't know who the new Social Awareness and Personal Development heads are yet. Those are 2 of the 4 committes there are in the youth ministry. The other 2 are there at the side.. Jacqy heads Spiritual and Laila heads Fellowship.

I'll tell you more about of the committees later then you can decide to join them if you want. :)

K nothing else to say.

Your turn to do introductions since I've done mine. Comment on this post and tell us about yourself. Who's your boyfriend/girlfriend.. what's your favorite mamak.. whether you like the Prosperity Burger.. what sports you like to do.. whatever la. Include your birthdate though k thanks. I won't update til I see a satisfactory amount of intros so GET TO IT. :P

waddermelons

2007-01-05T23:28:00.001+08:00

grapes are
purple
and green